Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Mid Summer Deluge

.


A smile beamed across his face as he surveyed the dark sky; he whispered to his fellow third graders, “It’s going to rain”. Even before they could react, he picked up his battered notebooks from the ground and climbed over the school’s mud fence. He felt a sudden cold breeze on his face; the rain was coming and he had to reach home before it did.
He pulled out a few marbles from his faded navy blue trouser pocket and made sure the big one with the yellow streak was there. Holding his books close to his chest and clutching his trouser pocket containing the marbles, he jumped off the mud fence and dashed towards the rice field. Balancing himself with one hand, he crossed the field over a narrow path while the rice plants danced to the tune of the strong breeze. By the time he reached the banyan tree just outside the rice field, a heavy wind had started to blow away leaves and the tree rained down ripe fruits like heavy pellets.

He reached a long dusty road and saw his house on the other end. His small feet kicked up dust as he raced towards the house. He heard the rain, like a swarm of bees, getting closer and felt the air getting heavier with moisture. He turned back to see the dusty road changing color to dark brown as the rain splashed on it, racing towards him. He ran as fast as he could while the trees on either side swayed violently, as if cheering him. He leapt over the steps leading to his house followed by the thundering sound of the rain hitting the clay tiled roof. He fell on his knees trying to catch his breath, the sweet smell of earth filled his lungs and he felt it flow throughout his body.

Twenty years have passed since that mid-summer deluge, but the sight of the rain chasing him down the dusty road, the sound of it pelting on the roof and the sweet smell of earth it brought will remain locked in his heart forever.

This story was originally posted in
Writer's Lounge
.

19 Comments:

Sucha said...

Hey it touches my soul..beautiful narration and nice similies. Also feels like a scene from " Kite runner" where the author talks of his childhood like it was yesterday.

Asmi Saxena said...

Well written.. is that a future olympic athlete? :D

Misty Rhythm said...

beautiful narration...i cud almost picture the whole thing! the pic in the beginning of the post is so lovely!

p.s...i'm thr in ur blogroll! i didn't know :)...thnx :)

CRD said...

nice narration :) u romanticised the rains quite well

Cheers
CRD

Vinayak said...

nice
u have a nice blog
keep it up

Anonymous said...

you have very lavishly explained an extremely simple thing, yet you were successful in catching the attention and interest through-out your narration.nice attempt.
mujtaba

AT said...

A beautiful piece, I jus couldnt wait to read it till the end.. The Mumbai post was also very nice. Keep up the good work!

insanely~positive said...

@ Sucha, crepuscle, misty, CRD, vinayak, mjutaba and asha

Thanks a ton :)

Sucha, I've read kite runner. It's a wonderful book.

Asha, Thanks for reading the Mumbai post. I want to write more; will do that someday..

Anonymous said...

I read it in WL !! loved it :) !! glad to read it again :D

Anonymous said...

wow! nice work dude
thats pretty nice!

siddhu said...

nice post yaar!!the title itself is sooooo poetic & the post completes the effect..


happy new year....

n here is my blog-do drop in
www.siddhumokkai.blogspot.com

Aparna (Life Takes) said...

such a good narrative flair!

the scenes were unfolding in front of my eyes
rain is indeed a beautiful thing1

that pic in ur post is lovely....i 'm saving it in my comp

keep writing!

Aparna (Life Takes) said...

i voted for u in writer's lounge!

i read them all...but ur story was the most i liked

insanely~positive said...

@ Aparna

I thought my story will end up with only one vote; mine :)

Thank you...

Purva said...

you are some story teller! your words created a beautiful picture of the rains in my mind...

Aparna (Life Takes) said...

hey faizal!

congrats for getting into super 6 in rain drenched contest..!!!!!!!!!!!

if i was made the judge i wud have made u the winner.

but super 6 is a big honour too...congrats man!

* said...

Hello.
How has it been then? Have you settled in?
Dropping in on the welcome to AD bandwagon!

spicymist said...

hey i loved this post. i could actually visualise the boy running in the rain. the smell of the earth. i like the way u describe. sadly i cant say the same for jrr tolkien.
cheers

VIDYA said...

Wow!
Lovely imagery you've got going on there.Rain is always an inspiring subject :)
Keep writing!